Dairy-Free Instant Chocolate Pudding

A lot of recipes for dairy-free pudding require you to have in your possession a ripe avocado. In life, ripe avocados are like four-leaf clovers. But I've recently learned that there is bottled avocado oil!

Dairy-Free Instant Chocolate Pudding

1 14 oz. box of silken tofu (here from Trader Joe's)
1/2 cup avocado oil
3-5 tablespoons of brown sugar
1/2 cup of cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla extract

Dump all ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth (or use an immersion blender). I can't recommend a nutrilbullet enough for this kind of task, though.

Two-Ingredient White Chocolate Tofu Pudding

Two ingredients. It's not really clean eating, per se, because come on. White chocolate isn't exactly good for you. Even if it is from Whole Foods. But it makes tofu kid-friendly, so why not?

Ingredients:

1 12 oz bag of white chocolate
2 12 oz boxes of silken tofu (silken, not firm), drained

In a double boiler (fancy-pants way of saying any pan within a pan), melt the chocolate over an inch of water. Ok, what does that mean? Pour an inch of water into a pan. Boil it. Place another pan with the chocolate literally into that pan with the water. Melt the chocolate. I know, it's confusing.

Scrape the molten chocolate into a blender along with the drained tofu. Blend.

Voila. High-protein white chocolate tofu pudding.

Sriracha Lime Stir-Fry Sauce (with Tofu)

God, is there any foodstuff more perfect than Sriracha sauce? No. No there is not. 

I've been messing around with stir-fry recipes that rely on Sriracha for their flavor. I finished one today and I'm simply calling it Sriracha Lime Stirfry Sauce. Below you'll see most of the basic ingredients behind a lot of Thai-inspired recipes I'be been researching.

 

I've tried a lot of them this past week and came to the conclusion most people blogging about Thai food in English are 1) have some crazy access to foods I do not have, 2) have really weird ideas of what tastes good, and 3) apparently have unlimited time and money on their hands. No. This will not do.

This recipe is stupid easy. And I'm going to show you how to make it even stupid easier. You'll need a jar.

Sriracha Lime Stirfry Sauce

- 3 tablespoons of soy sauce

- 3 tablespoons of brown sugar

- 2 tablespoons of lime juice (the bottled stuff is fine)

- 1 tablespoon of garlic powder

- 1 (OR MORE) tablespoons of Sriracha sauce

Got it? Great. Dump it all in your jar and shake that shit up. 

Now, you need tofu. Extra-firm is always best for stir-fry. Regular firmness is not firm enough to withstand the trials of being stirred. Cut the tofu into pieces. I recommend little triangles but don't be afraid to go fucking nuts and use cubes. Or rectangles. Or pentagons. See if I care how you waste your time with this endeavor. 

Ok, now before dumping the sauce in, saute the tofu in a little sesame oil (or any oil will do). Just enough so it gets a bit crisp around the edges.

Then dump the sauce in, like so:

When you are done, plate it and the extra sauce over some rice (or quinoa if you're paying attention). 

You could always make a lot of this sauce and keep it in that jar and put it in your fridge. I imagine it'll keep for about at least a week or so.