Whole Flax Crackers

Flax seed is weird. Not as weird as chia, but it's up there. When you soak flax in water, it gets gooey and sticky and spongy. You should try it some time.

So capitalizing on this weird flax phenomenon, let's soak it in water and make a fucking cracker out of it. Again, sorry, this is a dehydrator recipe. If you don't have a dehydrator, you can try sticking these in your oven at its lowest setting for 10-12 hours. Generally, that mimics the idea.

Raw Flax Seed Crackers

• 2 cups whole flax seeds (I got mine from Trader Joes)
• 2 cups of water
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon of sea salt 
• 2 tablespoons of Sriracha (optional)
• 1 tablespoon of lime juice (optional)

First things first, you need to soak these seeds for about two hours. That's what's going to allow them to reveal their secrets to you.

Then, you mix in the other crap. Mixy mixy.

Spread out thin on a silicon mat. Don't have a silicon mat? You should get one. They are cheap and awesome. The thickness should be about 2 seeds thick.

Then, pop into your dehydrator. After 4 hours flip them over, like so. Continue dehydrating for another 2-3 hours.

When they are done, you can rip the sheets apart to make crackers. Or you can leave them intact to make GIANT CRACKERS OF LITTLE UTILITY.

Sriracha Kale Chips

After I popped a batch of these into the dehydrator, I climbed onto the roof to watch the meteor shower. I came down about two hours later to find they had been scavenged from the racks.

Sriracha is magic.

Ok, we generously received the bounty of a neighbor's kale harvest. And nature is beautiful and photosynthesis is great and yadada, I smothered the leaves in sriracha and dehydrated it. Yeah, that's it. Rip the stems off, smother in sriracha, and place on the racks.

Desiccate for two hours. Done.

Watermelon Chips

For this recipe, you need a food dehydrator and possibly some silpats. You can dry fruit in the oven (your lowest setting, so usually 180 to 200 degrees) but it's less energy efficient.

Basically, all you do is slice the watermelon into slices only a hair thicker than 1/4". Any thicker and you'll get chewy watermelon taffy that looks like this:

 Not a bad thing, just different.

These need to dehydrate for about 8 to 10 hours.

They are delicious.